the willow grove

there is a stretch of i-25 i drive every day that sits at the base of the mountains. it is in this stretch that there is a grove of trees at the edge of a grazing meadow. every morning, there are two horses standing so close together that at first glance they look like one animal. the other morning, when i drove past them, the steam from their backs rose in the gorgeous morning sunlight and i caught my breath.

i can't remember which of the species of animals mates for life, but something about these horses, and the way they stand together so close, her head resting on his neck, makes me believe they have been together for life. who cares if it's not the truth... it makes that part of my drive that much better. i try to imagine what it would be like to be in that position. where i know i have the same person to turn to every night, with whom, no matter what, i get to share the shade of the willow tree.

contrast this with the articles this week (and alternately on the news websites when other news is slow) that tell us studies have shown humans aren't made to be monogamous. how asking us to be with one person forever is like asking the leopard to change his spots... how we were designed to have many partners, with no commitment.. i don't like to hear that...so you can see that after i drive past the willow grove with a dreamy smile on my face, i then get the wrinkle in my brow as i try to justify why i wish i had that monogamy, when it appears to go against the natural way of my species. at this age, any wrinkle in my brow tends to take up residence, so i'd like to get my thoughts out there, (brow wrinkling while i type), so that i can just drive the remaining commute with just the dreamy smile...

i've been married twice. i've been in love a handful of times. i have several men to whom i could have been betrothed at any given time. i am currently in a relationship with someone i have loved since i was 4 years old. when we first got together, i had it in my head that it was going to be this mythical fairy tale "forever" thing... i've since come down from that high, and am living day to day, just thankful he is still the one with whom i am waking up. do i wish it was going to be for the rest of my life? OF COURSE. do i want to make it legal and get a ring? nope. do i hope that this man, the man who has given me peace and security, chooses to stay with me until my soul embarks (deathcab for cutie reference)? yes. will he? i don't know.

all i know is that on these crisp cool mornings, as i wake in his arms, i imagine us as standing together in the willow grove, with steam rising off our backs, my head resting on his neck. and i imagine us like this forever...